Open Communication

We all know that communication is key in any healthy and successful relationship. How do you open that line of communication with your kids, especially when they might be struggling?

Adam and Heather Walker share with us a few tips and tricks of what has helped to achieve healthy communication with their children.

“One of the things that we did when Emily was younger was to create a mommy-and-me composition book where we would write notes back and forth to each other. She would write a note and it would end up on my desk or in my room. Then I'd write a note back and I put it in her room. That is one of the things that I am proud of as a parent and it really helped to open that line of communication.

Sometimes that open line of communication hasn't always been its best. We've had times where maybe we're just mad at each other, but I think that can be part of the process. Our goal has been to maintain that open line of communication to where she can come to me and that she can tell me what she thinks.

Sometimes the things that she says aren't nice and I don't like hearing them. However, by having that open communication, she is able to voice her opinion and I make sure that I'm responding calmly to maintain or continue to grow the relationship in those conversations.

Sometimes the things they say can be downright harsh! With practice we’ve been able to suppress our first reaction, which is to defend ourselves, or to maybe even say something harsh back. But we have learned that you can’t do that. Because if you do that, you put a stopper in that open line of communication. You've got to be willing to take the hit. That is definitely easier said than done, and we have not been perfect at it.

When then say something to us we have learned to dig into that emotion behind the words more than the words themselves. It is important to realize that those words are coming from someplace. Someplace probably irrational and a lot of times it's coming from somewhere entirely different. They've used a circumstance to lash out when it's really something completely different that they're frustrated about. “

Want more? Listen to the full “Winning With ADHD” podcast episode here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6GrJZQLa25UEYeptaWtmPD