Are you just surviving or are you winning?
Are you just surviving? Do you show up every day with your ADHD student feeling like here we are with no light at the end of the tunnel? Do you feel like you’ve tried everything? Let me tell you it is going to be hard no matter what but there is a much more rewarding way than just surviving.
I think everyone can agree that parenting is one of the most difficult things we ever take on and when you add in ADHD; it adds in something extra. I remember many days of just waiting for bedtime because I was drained emotionally and many days of tears trying to find ways to be able to make things different. I also remember days where I acted out of frustration and anger for the situation and other days where I showed up in a more compassionate way.
What I’ve learned is…If we put the person first, if we put love first, if we put the relationship before the tasks of what needs to be done or what we expect them to do in the time frame we think, or the world thinks, is the right time line then we start to find out what it is like to win with ADHD. It really is an incredible experience when you make this shift. When, as the parent, you make very deliberate choices to show up in this way and then watch your child follow behind allows for an incredible relationship to develop. Since I have experienced this, I can say that it is an amazing experience that I hope all families can have in their homes.
How do you make this happen? It really is showing up with compassion, empathy, and a ton of patience. When you choose to make every interaction about building up the relationship it causes a shift in your mindset and ultimately a shift from surviving to winning. When we were just surviving, we only talked about missing assignments and what needed to get done. I absolutely hated it and I’m pretty sure my daughter did too. We hit rock bottom in regards to our relationship and being able to function in any other way than to survive each day, each assignment, and each argument. There was so much stress and pressure, so much overwhelm and anxiety, and so much tension and unhappiness. If you fast forward, a few things happened…we changed as parents and our daughter was willing to try some big changes. It was hard but getting to the other side is so rewarding that we couldn’t help but find ways to share our success with others…we want every family to feel what it is like to Win with ADHD!